The Balkan Rally | The Party Rally from England to Macedonia.

This years Underhill Festival is the start to the Balkan Rally and is included in the entry price. The festival has grown since last year to a two day event with 3 music stages and a host of other activities to keep you amused.

Right in the centre of the site will be the Balkan music stage where you will here some of the leading voices in the gypsy music scene. Headliner’s Gypsy Hill (http://www.myspace.com/gypsyhill/music) are an incredible act, and supporting them will be everything from Belly Dancer’s to Balkan magicians and more amazing bands.

On the other stages you will find some of the world’s leading DJs performing and some incredible up-and-coming acts. Artists such as Zombie Disco Squad (http://www.myspace.com/zombiediscosquad), Krafty Kuts (http://www.myspace.com/djkraftykuts), Lone (http://www.myspace.com/lonemusic), Le Jockey (http://www.myspace.com/lejockey/music) and Richy Ahmed (http://www.residentadvisor.net/dj/richyahmed) will all be tearing it up. That still leaves the Mystery Headliner, a man who is frequently regarded as being one of the Top 10 DJs in the world. I cannot name names but this is huge.

As anyone who made it to the inaugural event last year will testify, Underhill is about much more than just music. Arts and activities events will all be laid on over the weekend, as will some delicious food and drink including some local ales and ciders.

On the final day Ralliers will assemble as best they can for the grand see-off from their very own section of the festival site. After a quick speech from the mayor and a ribbon cut by miss Wessex 2011, it’ll be time to head off into the unknown bound for Brugge…

Watch this space for the next instalment where I’ll be telling you what’s in store for the rallier’s in Western Europe

Exhausted though you will be after the festival, your first days driving will require some willpower and stamina as you need to make your way to Brugge. The good news is that we have sorted both your ferry ticket and booked accomodation for the evening. Using the handy maps provided in The Balkan Bible is easy and as soon as you arrive in Brugge you can go into lock-down. That is except that we're going to one of the oldest pubs in Brugge to sample an extensive range of Belgian beers.

You'll need your rest though; The following day we hit Amsterdam where nothing is as expected. In this vein we have organised a mystery event, we don't even know what to expect. Doubtless this great city of vice will provide. Last year's evening in Amsterdam was so extreme that almost no one made it the next day to the beer hall crawl in Munich.

To sort this out we have added another destination; Heidelberg. Heidelberg sits on the neckar river in the rhine valley and is surrounded by forests. It is regarded as one of the most attractive towns in Germany and is said to have the best climate. We are staying in a campsite right on the river.

 Munich, capital of Bavaria, the heart of Germany, full of history and with probably the finest brewing culture of any city in the world. Jakob, our man on the ground, will be donning his Lederhosen for the second time to lead you on a tour of this great city's world famous beerhalls, expect some live Bavarian music  at the Hofbrauhaus plus visits to other less infamous but more traditional 'locals' beerhalls.

That concludes this brief teaser on Stage 2. Stand-by to find out what's in store for Stage 3: Slovenia and Croatia

Croatia: poster boy for the Western Balkans, the new Ibiza, beautiful coastline and quaint villages abound.

Slovenia, where's that? This tiny country is oft overshadowed by its southern neighbour however to ignore it is to miss out on what many of the 2010 ralliers considered to be some of the best couple of days on the rally.

We start in the Far North of the country (only two ours drive from the far South). Slovenia is right on the South Eastern tip of the alps so the scenery is breathtaking. Spend the afternoon setting up camp on the shores of Lake Bled's lesser known but more peaceful sister, Lake Bohinj. Campfires, marshmallows and other traditional camping shit is on the menu, aside from feeling the effects of a beer hall crawl the night before you will need your sleep for the following day when the organisers will be taking you on a tour of the local area. Expect plenty of outdoor activities and swimming. This is where you can get photos to satisfy parents that you have done more than just sunbathe and drink all summer.

That evening you make the 1-hour long drive to Ljubljana, Slovenia's phonetically challenging capital city. You will be placed under the control of Andrej Jakos, a maverick, a  yes man, a lunatic, and an excellent guide for the evening's pub crawl. He knows Ljubljana better than anyone and can be relied upon to show you everything that is weird and wonderful about the city. This is NOT your Stag weekend tour, this is about partying at the best places where only a local would know to go.

The following day we hit Croatia and go straight to Pag island which is what I imagine Ibiza is like though I'm yet to go. House music, Babes, Swimming Pools, Bunjy jumping, Foam, Speedos, Chest hair, and hopefully; beautiful weather. Check out this extract from the feature length 2010 Balkan Rally film if you don't believe me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDYHvl_9g3c
Pag island is very very fun.

After two days of insane partying you need to relax which is why we go to Zadar, only 45 minutes from Pag. The Garden is the open air club owned by ex-UB40 drummer James Brown and sits on top of the fortress walls in the old city from where you can look out across the marina one way and over the terracotta roofs of the town in the other. The garden is a garden as the name suggests and has loads of beds in which you can totally relax, it is the prefect antidote to the craziness of Pag. The city of Zadar itself can easily entertain for a few hours, explore the back-streets and immerse yourself.

Your next destination will be Bosnia, where you can really appreciate the whole region's fraught recent history. Stage 4 is Bosnia to Albania

 

This is hardcore...

Serious ralliers only please. The fourth section of the rally is the organiser's favourite for good reason. This part of Europe is undiscovered and very different from the rest of it. Parts of Albania look like Nigeria. Parts of Bosnia look like Sierre Leone... well perhaps not but the half blown up buildings riddled with bullet holes do take some getting used to.

The best thing about travelling through these places though is without a doubt, the locals. This is your chance to get off the beaten track and experience real Balkan hospitality and kindness. I have every faith that countries like Bosnia, Monenegro and Albania will feature on ralliers "Top 5 ever" lists.

We start where we left off. Into Bosnia we will take you. Heading for Mostar, home of a world famous bridge which fearless locals will jump off to amuse the tourists (and for a small fee). Though we will be visiting this pretty town, we will be sleeping outside, in a beautiful secret scenic location, far enough from civilisation for some appreciation of Bosnia's bountiful natural beauty, close enough to civilisation that we can take you to the local village Taverna for a traditional experience that no money can buy (except £135 for the Balkan Rally!).

The next evening we are in Dubrovnik, Pearl of the Adriatic, this city needs no introduction, many of you will have visited before, possibly with parents. The city takes your breath away every time you glimpse it from the cliff top road that leads there. No trip to the Balkans would be complete without a visit here. You'll be hungover and therefore the Jazz evening we have planned for you will be just what you need (The organisers know what's best for you!).

 The following day we go Cliff jumping, there are heights for all 'cohones'. Keep your arms tucked though, unless you want to go home in a stretcher. That day we drive along the coast to Kotor, lazy souls can enjoy a beer in the town square, exercise-minded people can take to the 1000 (probably) steps which lead up to the fort that overlooks the town, bring water with you because no matter what you think, you will pay the extortionate price charged for it at the top.

In the evening we split up. Those who don't care about their cars or are driving 4x4s pay attention! You can do our rally stage. I am going to tell you absolutely nothing about this right now however I will say this. Every rallier that took part in this two day 300 km round trip last year agrees, it is not to be missed. If you have the car and the balls for it, there really is no better way to spend 48 hours.

That's not to say that the alternate activity is any less fun. Miracle is a mafia owned Ibiza style outdoor club perched on top of a mountain overlooking Budva in Montenegro. It has a huge stage, more jacuzzis than you could ever justify, and plenty of oppurtunities to be bundled into the trunk of a Zastava and fed to the piggies on the edge of town.

If you survive the previous night and think you want something a little more edgy, a little less Ayia Napa, and a little more Burkina Faso then, perhaps Albania will be just what you're after. We head to Tirana, the capital, where we are united with the rally stage group. Clubbing in Tirana is at odds with the rest of the country, you have never seen a more glamorous clientele. The music is good, the drinks are cheap, the partying is till late.

Don't overdo it though, the following day we head to Lake Ohrid, Macedonia for the party to end all parties. 'Stage 5: The finish party' coming soon.